From Master to Jack: My Journey So Far

In the two weeks before I started my Masters of Educational Administration and Management at Royal Roads University, I was filled with anticipation. Who would I meet? What would I learn? Would this experience be able to live up to my expectations? What will I do if I am disappointed? I am happy to report that the last question never needed an answer. As far as the first three go, I met many and diverse people who were generous with their wisdom. I learned not only from the teachers, but also from the wealth of experience of my classmates. The work was all consuming: I neither ate nor slept quite enough, but spending two weeks with delightfully intelligent, curious, talented and motivated people felt like a spa to me! I studied academic concepts, analyzed my problem solving skills, and enjoyed lively debate. The best part was that the program’s intensity of time and investigation allowed room for me to watch my learning unfold.

A good example of this learning occurred when I took the MBTI, which revealed only slight preferences in all categories except one. I was initially dissatisfied with this result because I had assumed the survey would offer a more definite description of my personality type. Instead it portrayed me as something of a fence sitter. Further disheartening, the category that I felt described me least, Intuition, was the one for which I showed a clear preference. After considerable reflection and a discussion with Hilary Leighton, I realized that I had misrepresented myself on a recurring question on the MBTI.

In a variety of ways the survey asked whether I liked to make a plan for a day’s outing or whether I preferred to let events unfold naturally. This question was difficult for me to answer because I am naturally a planner. Nevertheless, as a working mother (and now a student too) my days are exceptionally busy, so if I am asked whether I would prefer a day without a plan, my answer is a resounding Yes!  because it is a rare and cherished occasion when I am left free to follow my muse. In retrospect, perhaps my single clear preference for Intuition is not so clear after all. Maybe I have only Slight preferences in all categories.

Although this re-evaluation may describe me as more wishy-washy than ever, I have reconsidered my first, rather negative response to Slight preference. Perhaps Slight preference shows not shallow indecisiveness but recognition of the values of a diversity of ways of thinking. Maybe this absence of Clear preference means that I will be able to accommodate and acquire a variety of leadership styles. Jack of all trades or master of none, my effectiveness as a school leader remains to be seen. In the meantime, I will ponder how Slight preferences can be employed in effective leadership and how well the MBTI’s 93 questions actually define me.

In further pondering on and preparation for leadership, I plan to hone productive approaches to addressing conflict in the workplace. Given my second interpretation of my MBTI personality type, I am hopeful that this endeavor will be a success.

I am not very practiced in conflict resolution at work because I’m generally focused on serving the best interests of the students: a practice that rarely garners objection. Conflict can arise for me, however, when I feel that excellence is not being pursued by my peers. This doesn’t mean that I expect other people to produce my version of work. That would be dull. I just strongly prefer it if everyone is doing their best and that they are mostly competent and caring and at least occasionally imaginative. I hate to admit it, but when this does not happen, I become offended and it is a challenge for me not to think disparaging thoughts or, in extreme circumstances, make cutting remarks. As a teacher in a secure and relatively independent position, I have the option (not the right) to be somewhat superior and self-righteous without suffering direct consequence, but as a leader this passive aggressive response to conflict simply will not do.

I believe excellence in conflict resolution includes the skill and the courage of empathy and objectivity. Instead of reacting to conflict, a leader needs to respond. An appropriate response to perceived incompetence would be to first look at my own bias and determine its role in the conflict. The second would be to investigate ways of encouraging competence. The third would be to remain objective: another person’s work is not a reflection on me.

These points are easy to make but difficult to do. Nevertheless, this type of reflective practice encourages thoughts that are otherwise easy to circumvent. Acknowledging my own bias is the first step in building a plan of action that will eventually become my practice. Without conscious reflection, I would be approaching leadership on an intuitive basis, and we know how comfortable I am with being described as Intuitive…

Fruitless deliberation has led me to make a largely intuitive decision to use a WordPress site for my e-portfolio. I was initially worried that this format would be too conservative to express myself creatively, but in the end I opted for a familiar interface that would not alienate the reader (or the writer) by idiosyncratic design. Now I need to learn how to make the site work and figure out how to use it to showcase my creativity. It seems like an enormous task and I am daunted by the scope of its possibilities. I hope this will dissipate as I begin to make entries and I move away from this feeling of master of none. Go MBTI!